Discussing pay with your boss can be frightening, it's true. But sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself. Here, take a look at these two stories, taken from the perspective of the woman employee. See which one you would prefer.
| NOT NEGOTIATING |
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You enter your boss's office. Your heart is pounding. What are you doing there? Your boss motions for you to sit in one of the uncomfortable armchairs sitting by his desk. You sit. He says, "You must be wondering what you're doing here. Well, I'm happy to tell you that you are being promoted." You release a breath, releived that you weren't being fired. Your boss continues, "Alright, now we need to discuss your new pay." You look up. "New pay, sir?" you ask."Why of course," he says. "A new job requires new pay. How would you like $50 a week?" You were surprised and not satisfied. Your male co-worker, who had also just been promoted to the same job made $78 a week. "Is there a problem?" your boss asks. You look up. Once glace into his cold eyes scares you. You immediately look down and nod, "No, that will be fine, sir." You weren't happy, but you didn't want to be fired, either. You decided to take it. "That's all," he waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. You rise from the chair, and walk out of the office. |
So that's what happens when you don't negotiate with your boss. You leave his office with low pay and an unsatisfied feeling. So now, look at this situation where the employee does negotiate.
| NEGOTIATING |
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You were surprised and not satisfied. Your male co-worker with the same job made $78 a week. "Is there a problem?" your boss asks. You look up. Once glace into his cold eyes scares you. You want to just accept it. But then you remember your co-worker. You decide to not allow this injustice to continue. "Actually, sir. There is." you say. He looked up. "You know Paul, right? He has the same job, and was promoted around the same time, yet he makes over $20 more than me! Don't you think that's a bit unfair?" He looks at you for a few tense moments, before sighing as he removes his glasses. "I suppose it is a bit unfair," he says. "Very well, how much do you want?" You stay there for a while, going back and forth about your salary. Eventually, you reach a decision. You would now recieve $74 a week. It still wasn't quite as much as Paul recieves, but it was a start. You leave the office feeling satisfied and determined. Next time, you would raise your pay even higher. |
So, which of the two do you prefer? That's right, the second one is better. If you picked the first one... well... no offense, but you need help.
Anyway! The second one is better; it's where the employee negotiated with her boss. She felt as if her current situation was unjust, and fought to right it, even though she was scared.
Whether you think you can negotiate or not, it doesn't hurt to improve. Here are some tips for improving your negotiative capabilities even more!
You have the skill set, knowledge, and experience for the job. So don’t be “grateful” for any salary offered. Assume that your salary is negotiable, and that you don’t have to accept the first offer you receive. The first step toward successfully negotiating is making the decision to negotiate in the first place
Enter into salary negotiations well prepared by knowing what you are worth. Find similar companies geographically close to where you’re interviewing and research those salaries. According to statistics in Women Don’t Ask, women report salary expectations between 3 and 32 percent lower than those of men for the same jobs
If you go into salary negotiations with anxiety or apprehension, or feel pessimistic about the outcome, you’ll most likely ask for - and get - less than you deserve. This is understandable behavior, as most of us want to “win” our negotiations and may feel we’ll have more success if we lower the bar. If you’ve done your homework and know what you’re worth, you should be able to enter into negotiations with the confidence and optimism that will help you negotiate with success.
Society has trained women to better listen to the needs and concerns of others. We do this with our friends, with family members, and at work. Women can use a cooperative approach during negotiations to show how what is being asked for will benefit all parties. Framing negotiations as a win-win situation, instead of approaching negotiations in a competitive manner, often results in more acceptance among co-workers and peers.
It’s unfortunate that women can’t aggressively ask for what they want and deserve without being perceived as a shrew or she-devil. Maybe someday. Until then, it’s better to work around the double standard. Women can be just as tough as men when it comes to sticking firm on their negotiations. But women who demand what they want in gentler, more social and friendlier manners have a better chance of being listened to and getting what they want than those who adopt an in-your-face, no-nonsense approach.
When it comes to negotiating, one of the many things that creates anxiety and prevents women from negotiating in the first place is not knowing how the conversation is going to unfold. There are many different directions in which a negotiation can go. Take a moment to think about these various directions, and develop responses to each potential scenario. This will make you feel more prepared for the conversation, which will make you feel more confident and comfortable.
Don’t settle for “good enough.” We all know there’s a direct relationship between goals and end result. The higher your goals are, the better the outcome. Ask for more and you’ll get more. It’s that simple. The first step to becoming an excellent negotiator is deciding to negotiate in the first place. When you take the steps to negotiate in way that makes you confident and the others around you comfortable, you increase your chances of success.
As you can see, one of the biggest things in negotiating is not being afraid. Stick up for yourself! Not sure if you can do that? No problem! Talk with people just like you using our chat system! You aren't alone! If you ever need help, just come here!
You can also play our game about making good choices below!
Don't worry! You are not alone! Check out our other pages for other ways to close the pay gap!
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Make Good Choices, Make More Money! |
How Would You Talk to Your Boss? |